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Busting Balls: 20 ways to improve sports

College football is stupid. Everybody knows it.
We blow the whistle on the ridiculous rules and quirks that make the games lame
By LANCE GOULD  |  January 07, 2009
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The Year of the Nerd

Barack Obama is many things. Dedicated senator. Devoted husband and father. Adept orator. President-elect. Nerd.
Screw the jocks and prom queens — in 2008, geeks took control of entertainment, pro sports . . . even the White House
By RYAN STEWART  |  December 23, 2008
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Return of the U

Remember the days when the University of Miami dominated college football?
Sports blotter: "Plant City, indeed" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 30, 2008
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Can't drive 55

This past week, we snared an early candidate for the next Justin Miller Award, given to the athlete who most bollockses up his professional-draft status with an avoidable pre-draft arrest.
Sports blotter: "Sammy Hagar" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  December 12, 2007
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Do mess with Texas

The Houston Texans are like the soy cheese of the sporting world.
Sports blotter: "Houston has a problem" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  December 05, 2007
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Bob's your uncle

When was the last time England was relevant at all in the sporting world?
Sports blotter: "Across the pond" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  November 28, 2007


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Bonds away

This Barry Bonds thing is going to be a big story, no doubt, but trust me: even bigger news is probably coming.
Sports blotter: "Barry's indictment" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  November 19, 2007
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Tennessee two-step

Tough week for the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, where two football players were busted within a span of three days.
Sports blotter: "All offensive linemen" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  November 14, 2007
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Pure idiocy

We’ve had some real winners light up the crime blotter this year.
Sports blotter: "Genius of the year" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  November 07, 2007
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A leafy, green substance

Just when you thought the “supernaturally large quantity of marijuana” sports bust was a thing of the past.
Sports blotter: "Copious amounts of pot" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  October 31, 2007
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Off point

Lots of class being shown this year by New York–area point guards.
Sports blotter: "Celtics fans still hate this guy" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  October 24, 2007


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Surely you can't be serious

Early nomination for collegiate crime-dweeb of the year goes to Fresno State defensive lineman Jason Shirley.
Sports blotter: "Don't call me Shirley!" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  October 17, 2007
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Brown out

A few years ago it would have seemed unlikely that former No. 1 overall pick Kwame Brown would leave any legacy at all, but that situation has clearly changed.
Sports blotter: "All people named 'Brown' " edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  October 10, 2007
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Willie returns

Remember Willie Williams?
Sports blotter: "Never fade away" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  October 03, 2007
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Free the Juice

As you surely have heard by now, O.J. Simpson is up to his old tricks again.
Sports blotter: "Return of Orenthal James" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 26, 2007
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Texas two-step

The Texas Longhorns have been a real gift to the sports-crime-reporting industry of late.
Sports blotter: "Horns hooked" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 19, 2007


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Rocket science

Tough, tough summer for the Houston Rockets, arrest-wise.
Sports blotter: "Houston hydroponics" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 14, 2007
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And one

Let’s play a game — it’s called “Celebrity Take-the-Hint.”
Sports blotter: "NBA Street" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 05, 2007
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Zzzzzzz . . .

We get one of these about once a year, the jock-asleep-in-car-with-engine-running story.
Sports blotter: "Sawing wood" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 29, 2007

Genuine sense of outrage

Democratic US Representative Tom Allen is being accused by editorial writers and other whack jobs of demeaning the political process.
Politics and other mistakes
By AL DIAMON  |  August 29, 2007
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Duck season

No one knows what got into Offerman — he’d never been arrested before.
Sports blotter: "Somewhere, Izzy Alcantara smiled" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 22, 2007


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Pugilism sound

It’s been a while since we heard much from the Washington Huskies.
Sports blotter: "Trouble in Washington" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 15, 2007
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True Wizardry

Question: what do you do when your team decides to offer you, a mere 20 year old, $12.5 million over five years?
Sports blotter: "Puts up a brick!" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 08, 2007

Fish fry

Add another one to the list.
Sports blotter: "More tasing" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 01, 2007
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Too high

One wonders, at times, if there is some kind of Norse God of sports crime.
Sports blotter: "T-High" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 25, 2007
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Squish the fish

Hey New England, can I get a “Sucks to be you, you got a DWI, you LOSER!”
Sports blotter: "Dolphin crime" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 18, 2007


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Tiger traps

Baseball players steal bases, basketball players steal basketballs, and that’s all acceptable behavior within the confines of the game.
Sports blotter: "What are they teaching at Clemson?" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 11, 2007
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Groundhog Day

It’s actually getting boring.
Sports blotter: "Running out of ways to make fun of the Bengals" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 27, 2007
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Murder most foul

Man, just what the hell is going on in the sports world?
Sports blotter: "This isn't funny" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 20, 2007
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Texas trouble

Some college-football positions just seem to be cursed, arrest-wise.
Sports blotter: "When's he going to talk about Michael Vick?" edition
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 06, 2007