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Ruben Patterson

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Kelly's zeroes

Like Bob Beamon's long-jump record or Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak, it was once thought that no organized sports team would ever approach the string of arrests racked up by the infamous Portland Jail Blazers club of the early 2000s.
Oregon Football makes the leap and pays the price; plus, taser fun on the Bayou
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 19, 2010
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Lame Ducks

Wow, it sure has been a nasty couple of weeks for the University of Oregon and football coach Chip Kelly.
Oregon football closes in on infamy; plus, a Villanova Wildcat needs litter training
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 05, 2010
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Rube awakening

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Couldn’t you feel that void, that emptiness resulting from the failure of former LA Clipper and Portland Trail Blazer Ruben Patterson to get arrested for anything at all recently?
A former Jail Blazer returns to action. Plus, hugging it out at Portland State.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  December 04, 2009
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Cincinnaughty

We’d better hurry. If the Phoenix and its readers don’t step on it and come up with a new nickname for the suddenly oft-indicted Cincinnati Bengals, someone else is going to do it for us. And it’s not going to be pretty.
The new "Most Arrested Team in Sports"
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 26, 2006